051: Self Publishing Regrets
and why I should have been more delusional.
ESTABLISHING SHOT
I’ve been collecting different colored papers to create zines for some upcoming zinefests. It’s kind of hard to get paper for an affordable price here in New Zealand, so far away from everything.
The only problem that I’m really having now is that my printer somehow got all jacked up and has this nasty ink blot on the edges. I should really call the manufacturer to see if they can help me rectify this before I go into full production mode.
I will have a table at Auckland Zinefest on Saturday August 1, 2026!
BEHIND THE PAGE
I regret not self publishing more.
I’ve been thinking a little too much. Too much thinking, not enough doing. That’s when I started to think about some of my actual problems with my career and confidence as an artist.
My artistic journey has been… probably a very typical one. I worked hard and got some scholarships, then went to university. It was all well and good for a while until the pressure started to get to me. I had always prioritized my art skills over my writing, often leaving the writing up to friends or creative partners. When I started to do some writing, I was unprepared for the level of criticism and feedback I would receive.
I was getting used to receiving feedback about my artwork, but that part was easy. You can very plainly see what was wrong and there was usually a sort of right answer to fix it. Easy peasy.
It’s a lot harder with writing. You can’t just see what’s wrong with something, you have to feel it.
Over the past few years, I’ve dedicated a lot of time to learning how to write a good story. Listened to podcasts about writing, read books about story structure, drew every story circle I could.
That’s learning. Not doing.
And the best way to learn is to do. I’ve had it all backwards because I was filled with doubt and fear.
Now that I’m years further into this and I feel like a fool.
I could have been telling my stories and getting better this whole time. I was so focused on someone picking me, my stories, to actually make the damn things. To print them, put them in someone’s hands, to connect with people with my art and stories.
Working so hard on appealing to publishers has benefited me, don’t get me wrong. But I can’t help but feel how different my path would have been if I’d chosen to self publish more.
There could have been more Kickstarters, more zines, more attempts at making something successful. Creating income streams and building skills in actually creating a business that can sustain myself.
Not knowing what you don’t know is kind of a gift.
It allows you to create without doubt or fear, learning along the way.
Now my biggest fear is that the time has been wasted, but I guess if I can help someone not make the same mistakes I have, then it might have all been worth it.
Back when I lived in the states, this would have been so much easier. I’ve put myself on a remote island in order to try and find peace, and now that my new home has given me so much, I can’t help but want more.
Like a Disney princess.
So don’t be like me! If you have a story, tell it! Go through what it takes to confidently write, draw and print your comic, novel, Zine or whatever it is you’re making.
Now I’m gonna stop wallowing and navel gazing and correct this regret. The grass is always greener and sometimes it’s nice to stop and see what it is that you’ve built using the decisions that you’ve made. Many people are probably envious of the life I have, as I am envious of others. It’s valid to feel that way but you can’t let it stop you and keep you from where the path that you chose ends up.
SIGNING OFF
Thanks so much for tuning into this installment of Sooner or Later.
If you made it this far, I thought I’d share with you that I started a YouTube channel! It’s still a work in progress but I’m working on more stuff and you can see it HERE.
Have you pre-ordered your copy of Fast Break? Well there’s still time! Go! Get on it!
Del Hahn
I decided last year that trad publishing probably isn't going to be it for me for a long time because asking for permission seems more tiring than just doing it yourself. And I'd still be saddled with the marketing anyway! BUT your post was great timing because I really do hate marketing.
My reframe is this: I pretend I'm a strawberry seller in a game like lemonade tycoon or something. People want to buy my uber juicy and sweet cross-breed of strawberries but don't know where to find them! So the objective of the game is to get signage out so people can make their way to my field. If the response isn't positive, it's because they only eat oranges, BUT they might know a strawberry fiend and give them the directions!
One regret I have is not being more pro active getting my work out there. I've self published the majority of my work so far, but they just sit in boxes in my room because I don't put it out in the world. Part of it is nerves, but also I just don't know how or where to do such things. It's tough.